Ok. I'm so excited for you two to do this together!!! (I'm a dork, I already know)
I'm taking myself out of the running - because I don't really fit the "slender" frame.
So here's how I would address your concerns:
Before we get to your numbered concerns, I have a suggestion. When deciding on the lady, kind of have a consensus on the "rules" of what is "ok" and what is "off limits" as far as what you will do, or not do - what she can do and not do - as well as your husband. (that will prevent a LOT of turmoil for the two of you later on, as well as prevent awkward moments in session). *whenever a husband contacts me first about this type of session, I usually ask him to have the SO contact me to clarify these points BEFORE the session. I don't want to step on any toes.
I am venturing to guess that you would be comfortable with a lady going down on you - especially while your husband watched (maybe while you were taking care of him) but you wouldn't want to reciprocate with the lady. (see? simple issue already laid out in advance!)
#1- No drama. You are already in the right place. Since you are a married couple, I would suggest a girl at least over the age of 25 (no offense younger gals) - just to handle the situation in a bit more "real" manner. I don't know all the girls on the board these days - but maybe even a girl that's been around a couple/few years and has a really solid reputation.
#2- Cleanliness - when you're dealing with the age range I just mentioned, and usually the price range I mention in #3 (and you do your research), there's little to worry about here. When you discuss the situation with the ladies, make it clear that it is a concern...and typically, we all like to please our clients. We'll go above and beyond for the ladies especially to make sure we counter any possible worries.
#3- Cost. Rates on sites vs rates reviewed change based on specials as well as how we adjust our schedules and our availability. What I would do is when you contact the girls you are interested in, refer them to this thread so they understand your position. I'd let them know your budget (I'd suggest $250 and provide drinks - and if you're working with an established provider - I agree, save the cost of the hotel and go to her incall. The level of girls you're working with are going to have a nice set up.) It's not haggling to let a lady know what your price limits are...I mean, if she has rates posted at a minimum booking of 2 hr @ $600...well, you may want to skip her.
#4- Privacy. This is a good one. Typically, you'd have to go through a mess of various reference checks and job checks...but you two own your own biz. Here's my own suggestion...(from experience). Meet a week ahead of time. You and her. He can stay at work...(his little head will over-ride his big head and probably won't allow him to think straight for a whole week straight and you'll get nothing else done at work!) Tell him you'll handle it - and then you two can discuss whatever you need to discuss - except money. Laugh, joke, have fun - and this will also help calm some of your nerves (and possibly hers...hell, I still get nervous sometimes, and that's probably a good sign) and look forward to the actual date.
#5- Fun. Start interviewing via emails or PM's now. You will get a vibe of who is fake and full of shit pretty quick. Understand that there is a bottom line of this being about money - BUT - that there is a LOT of us that really do enjoy many aspects of our job. (even though there are quite a few shitty things that make us roll our eyes or come on here and bitch and moan) For me, couples are a blast. I love knowing that a couple is so trusting of one another - that they can bring another girl into the mix and tear things up! I believe hiring a provider is probably the safest way to go about it, because there is less potential for emotional damage down the road. You can still easily build an ongoing "provider relationship" between the 3 of you, but the chances of emotions or love or backstabbing coming into play go down significantly - because what I said at the beginning of this one....the bottom line is $.
I sincerely wish you the best of luck and I hope you two have the time of your lives!
Originally Posted by tntangie
I really appreciate your response. As for rules, we don’t have many. Well, maybe except me going down on her. I really want a woman who will give us equal attention, but this is great advice, and something I hadn’t given much thought.
I like the idea of meeting her prior, and especially doing it alone. Yes, that would drive my husband crazy!
Thank you soooo much for your response. That was very nice of you!