It is never ok!

I agree with you Brittany. There is no excuse for this. And if he is unable to understand this basic point, he is really a safety/security risk.

How did he react? I think that's the deciding factoid.

No apology what so ever as if that wasnt a big deal that you just showed up. I remember safety and discretion was of high importance to him when we first met... but I shouldn't be given the same respect? Just farewell wont bother you again.

Sorry that happened to you Brittany! I used to have a beautiful brownstone apartment in Boston in a downtown area near a lot of guy's jobs, and for practical reasons, I hosted a few incalls there (you know how it goes, the whole "lunch break client"/can't be sure a hotel will let you check in b4 3 situation.) I never had someone violate my boundaries that way, but I have to admit that I put myself at risk. I tend to expect the best from people and be very trusting, but sometimes I'm reminded I should be more careful. I hope he got your message loud and clear, what nerve!

Terrible thing to have happened. But it sounds like he just couldn't understand that you said "No. Advanced notice required before noon!" and he might have thought you said "No advenced notice required before noon." In which case, he just appeared.

My guess is if he uses the same user name, his chances of getting to meet other girls just went down by 50% Originally Posted by JJones

I'm with JJones on this - punctuation makes a huge difference. I was confused when I read what you said, too.

Then that is fucked up. If IC I wait until I get an "its OK to come in now".

Bad Monday in Hoogarville so far today. And its almost the Salmon Run for the Roses time...hope it clears up soon.

Hope he is reading all this...its NOT OK to show up with no invitation.

I'm with JJones on this - punctuation makes a huge difference. I was confused when I read what you said, too. Originally Posted by Claire She Blows

Like i said there was more to the conversation than what i posted. We are not allowed to post full conversations on the board. The " no advance notice required before noon" was the response to his intial text are you available at blah time. He then said ok ill head that way?.. i said no. I require advance notice before noon. He then replied oh ok sorry. Then nothing else til he showed up. By him replying oh ok sorry..he knew what I said and understood thats why he apologized but no other conversation between us then he just shows up over an hour later.

Period or not no advance notice before noon does not equal no appointment necessary

Ah ok. Yeah, that's fucked up.

He didn't even apologize?

This is one of those boundaries...if you know where a ladies incall is located, that does not give you permission to return anytime you want. You have to be invited. You don't go uninvited, you don't hang around the incall parking lot.

He must be reading this, I wonder what made him think this was acceptable?

Nope no apology just said farewell I will leave you alone. Thats why im so mad. He wants things safe and discreet which im all for but I didnt get the same. An im sorry goes a long way. Im a really sweet girl but not cool when you do something like that.

I agree, the boundary I mentioned goes both ways. I'm sure he wouldn't be cool with you showing up where he works unannounced. If you screw up, admit it, apologize, then leave and don't ever do it again.

Exactly

Well, I hope he contacts you in PM and admits his mistake, and apologizes. Then I hope he learns a few more boundaries and learns to respect them before he does something else that is dumb.

There is a responsibility on both sides to respect the boundaries.

Please pm handle..thats just wrong Originally Posted by VictoriaLyn

Why should she PM it to you when she can just show up at your door unannounced and tell you in person?

I think the "No advanced notice required before noon." statement is very confusing. Why say that at all...based upon what you said you always require advanced notice and an appointment time to be set. So, to say "No advanced notice required before noon." is confusing. So, maybe he just got confused and didn't understand your text. I doubt anyone would just come by without an appointment.