I apologize in advance if this is intrusive for some of you; directed towards those who don't mind opening up and sharing. I greatly appreciate all input.

Ezra, as you well know...there's NOTHING easy about relationships! What you may want to consider is...if you're in a *healthy* realtionshp. If there's any type of abuse (emotional or physical) you should listen to the voice insude your head and take action.

Remember, we all have choices...if you choose to remain in a relationship that isn't fulfilling...there's no one to blame but yourself. All of this is much easier said then done...trust me, I should know. I've been there and made choices to free myself and my family of a tormented relationship...and thank God I did!

There's nothing more lonely and sad, than being stuck in a bad relationship...seems like the HELL never ends. At least, if you choose to leave...the hell does diminish with time. Hang in there kiddo...you'll be just fine!

Awwww gurlie I have loved you since you were 19. That boy is an idiot to not treat you like the princess you are!!! Your young and ohhh soooo beautiful. I have faith that one day you will find your prince charming like I did. This naughty horny community is a wonderful place to escape reality for sure. And then you meet just one that will change your your whole life around.

Thank you Nikki but, we do have issues, it's not tormenting at all. And it's no hell either. I guess I should've specified but I didn't want to get too elaborate. I should state, I am happy but not fulfilled. I am not depressed or dying inside lol but yes I want more. ramos is right, I've got to do what's best for me at this moment. Anyway, don't want to take away from all of the other reasons here, I'm still listening and reading.

Love you too mamma bear!!!

You're right mamma, he's not abusive, but yup, he doesnt treat me like a princess. Lol. But that's why I'm here. My friends do treat me like a princess.

Personally, I stayed for the kids. I didn't want to miss my kids. My marriage wasn't full of fights or even arguement, to have that would have meant we cared. Neither of us seemed to care enough to even address our problems. We were basically room mates raising our children. Now that the youngest one is in college I filed for divorce. I will be a single man within the next few weeks. Everyone who stays in a less than fullfilling relationship has their reasons. My reason are up and now I'm going solo. Hopefully I can find love again, until then I will settle for finding lust, lol.

Actually 1trvlman has my story. Verbatim. I'm at the beginning of course. Every single thing he said is mine in a nutshell.

Seems like it took forever didn't it 1travelman? (lol) Congrats!

Personally, I stayed for the kids. I didn't want to miss my kids. My marriage wasn't full of fights or even arguement, to have that would have meant we cared. Neither of us seemed to care enough to even address our problems. We were basically room mates raising our children. Now that the youngest one is in college I filed for divorce. I will be a single man within the next few weeks. Everyone who stays in a less than fullfilling relationship has their reasons. My reason are up and now I'm going solo. Hopefully I can find love again, until then I will settle for finding lust, lol. Originally Posted by 1trvlman

Been there done that. My divorce was final in August.

Actually 1trvlman has my story. Verbatim. I'm at the beginning of course. Every single thing he said is mine in a nutshell. Originally Posted by ExoticEzra

As I mentioned to you the first time we met, I believe you are rather unique as a provider. Normally it is the hobbyist that has those reasons for playing. Don't get me wrong, I'm VERY happy that you do. I can't even imagine his reasons. For me, everything about my relationship was pretty good until, for various medical reasons, she wasn't able to have pleasurable sex. To end the relationship for something outside of her control didn't seem the right thing to do. However, I wasn't ready to give up that part of my life. So, here I am. I have to be honest, the variety is just wonderful too. Thanks to you and all the other providers I've had the pleasure to spend time with. Good thread by the way.

Thanks Nikki. You have know me longer than anyone else on the board, to you know this has been in the works for a long time. I have stayed pretty under the radar until I was free. Well that's right around the corner. I'm looking forward to meeting more lovely ladies in San Antonio (including Ezra if she would like) But I will never stop enjoying Nikki's friendship (and companionship) Thanks gorgeous.

Damn Ezra. Now I want to hug you tight.

*tear*

Disclaimer: this is one of the few times I'm NOT being a smart ass.

Aaaaw.

Baby I've been there. Giving your all to someone and the return was futile. A few things I learned

Kids deserve to see both parents loved and healthy
Being miserable in my relationships killed a part of me
Life is great when you don't settle ....for nothing

I have never had the pleasure of meeting you but, I can say this.

We have one life. We don't get a second chance. Make it what you want.

You deserve to be happy, loved and fulfilled the way you want.
Don't settle, ever.

I'm doing everything I can to be the happiest I can be every day. If you bring negative in my life I will eliminate or replace you. Do the same. What you tolerate you encourage.

Only encourage the best for you,

Wow I was thinking of starting a thread similar to this; wondering why others have entered the hobby, with a "review" of the SO as an explanation for my participation, but thought that was too mean spirited for something that she has no control over. Bmerazi and I have similar stories.

Medical issues have forced a once amorous woman to no longer desire physical relations. When I can once in a very great while, convince her to play, I get no foreplay, or cuddling. It is a sigh, a reach for the tube of lube (as she does not herself), then since it has been so long, a continual grimacing for the entire duration.

Again, like Bmerazi, I can not hold that against her, but it is not satisfying in a complete way, so I like to search out the providers who are into the GFE. Every person has the need to be desired. So while, at first, I started in this hobby for the physical aspects, the GFE, and some of the incredible ladies I have met (and hope to meet ~~HINT TO EZRA~~), is what I have come to truly enjoy and the reason I continue.

Wow, these are all very interesting remarks, I knew I would eventually not be able to sit back much longer. My reason for being here is like many, including the OP. I have been with my spouse for over 10 years, and we have small children. The last couple of years have not been so great. Mainly my fault. My desire for my spouse was no longer there, and I couldn't bear to tell her that I wasn't attracted to her sexually. She was a little overweight and the pressures of her job turned her into a person I didn't really like. But I couldn't tell her. Early this year she told me she wanted to go outside of our marriage. I was devistated. We weren't having sex often, but I still treated her very well. It wasn't enough for her, and it took me many months to understand. At first I was heartbroken, I have never hurt so bad in my life, and I was angry. Just thinking about it was painful. She was willing to be open about it, but I choose not to know. That's when I came across this world. Wow! I didn't know this existed, and found the term "hobbying" very amusing. I wasn't sure this would be for me. Well, I can say over the last few months I have gotten better with my situation. My spouse and I are just roomates, I sleep in a guest bedroom. My spouse thinks we are going to retire together after the kids are gone, but I'm already looking for where I want to be without her. Am I happy now, no. But I love my kids so much it makes it easy for me to stay. For those who are still reading this, thank you for letting me get this off my chest. In closing, let me say I'm pushing 50, and before I married, I hurt alot of women along the way. I never cheated, but it seems like I had a pattern of loving and leaving and this may be karma coming to bite me in the ass. If and when I divorce, I know marriage is no longer a option. I don't want to hurt anyone. I have only seen one provider here in San Antonio and want to thank her if she reads this. She really has made alot of the pain disappear. I hope this comes out right.