Gentleman How would you write your ad??

Loveable slow single-shot old guy who loves to cuddle.

30 minute sessions available - but it takes an hour to complete them.

Discounts offered for smiles and hugs. No extra charge if you want more.

ECCIE does not allow fees in ads, so cash in a few aluminum cans & call. No offer refused.

If you are looking for a "Wham Bam Thank you Ma'am Experience", please move on to the next ad. I am all about the BFE. I promise to give you the passionate kisses you desire. I promise to look deeply, into your eyes, and explore your soul. I promise to caress your body so that you feel wanted. I promise to focus completely on your pleasure.

My goal is to be on your mind even when we are not together.

Now to achieve all of the above, in an hour or less, would be nearly impossible. For this reason, I never book less than a 2 hour appointment. My fee is 400 golfballs for the 2 hours. Each additional hour will be an additional 100 golfballs.

I never book more than one appt in the morning and one in the afternoon so I can better focus on you. If you choose me, I will be honored to be your BFE.

You can call or text me at 469-732-BFEE. I will ALWAYS return your message unless you instruct me not to.

============================== ============================== ===

Things I would like to see in ads:

Accurate pictures and update them at least every 2 months. They don't always have to be professionally done.

If you are running a special, have it be a legit special and spell it out in your ad, showcase, etc.

omg this thread makes me both laugh...and ponder having someone else do my ads for me!! Id book with several of ya!!

I haven't seen any tongue measurements or lpm (licks per minute) averages...

Good question OP!
This thread is going to be hilarious!
I'd book with some of you!

This lil'diddy would sound something like this:

"Tall, attractive, intelligent, with a big d#ck, and the knowhow to use it.
I cook like a dream and I'm always steamy-clean,
With a BFE desire to abuse it.

Love in the sack, or an orgasm on your rack
Your pleasure is how I'll measure
Our quality time together.

'Cause from your last cum
Until kingdom come
You'll be calling me over to reuse it.

1. More bourbon assures more foreplay
2. Foreplay and afterplay with cuddling available (please refer to #1)
3. Safety assured, seriously!
4. Screening imperative
5. Newbie friendly, sort of
6. Photos taken Today! (honestly, they're so current you can scratch'n'sniff)
7. Some personality and wit may = ymmv (for real)
8. Your MSOG guaranteed! (true daty! I mean, true dat!)

I'm looking forward to the noises you'll make, and you will be, too!!

Call me now!! 713-866-6249"

...ok, how'd I do?
...oh, and do call the number.

Nothing like a man who knows his way around the kitchen, a car and a woman!

Ladies I cook, clean, and will listen to how your day went. I have a 6" tongue. I have specials going on this weekend. Free Mustache Rides!!!!

I haven't seen any tongue measurements or lpm (licks per minute) averages... Originally Posted by SkylarCruzWantsYou

Skylar, Gene Simmons saw my tongue and said "You gotta be kidding me!?". Then he went and cried in his car.

The closest thing i can compare my LPM to is the movement of a hummingbirds wings that hasn't taken it's daily dose if Ritalin.

However, if I find one that is highly palatable, things change. My licks and sucks become slow and methodical while I savor the taste of the woman I'm dining on.

Now I need to eat something...

Wazzzzzup? Knead sum luving babi ? Your missing Dallas hottest nimpho!!
Cum c me! No txts.

ALL SUBMISSIVE WENCHES SHALL KNEEL BEFORE ME if that's like, you know, your thing, OK? If not that's fine too.

YOU SHALL SERVE THE NEEDS OF MY BODY IN REVERENCE AND SILENCE like when I pay for our dinner out, could you hand the awaiter my credit card without tellng him it's mine? I'd really appreciate it.

ONLY IN COMPLETE SUBMISSION TO YOUR MASTER WILL YOU FIND FUFILLMENT so I'm totally free to work around your schedule, because that whole complete submission thing needs at least a good couple of hours, right?

My Ad from a male provider

LAdies you have wonderful gents to choose from however I am That Dude for a reason come and see why if you dare

Another one

Sure others have standards which are to be commended, however after seeing me you will know what The Standard should be

Last One

Call Me


My ads are short and sweet. I would include links to my showcase, website, and p411 account. I would also link a review that I feel best represents me.

No one wants to be "artistic" and post

cOmE sEe Me. PiCs ArE rEaL oR iM fReE

No one wants to be "artistic" and post

cOmE sEe Me. PiCs ArE rEaL oR iM fReE Originally Posted by LusciousLacy

Specials offered to the ladies who provided an awesome birthday surprise! Repeats welcome! Call me soon!

I yours for any 24 hour period.


Dinner and drinks....
Dancing and out for the evening .....
Stay in and let me cook you dinner ....

Your choice of these or anything else you want

My stats
6'4" - 225, Blue eyes, light brown hair

Look forward to hearing from you