Red lipstick on your collar

Gather around guys. Snap-on tool box, brand new under the spare tire is just the right size to hold two spare shirts, a spare pair of dark dockers a pair of tittiebar shorts, twelve condoms and a tube of KY.... You know the standard hobby kit.
Now I don't know about your S/O but mine will sit by the side of the road overnight rather than change a flat tire by herself. She believes all tools are the sole providence of men. Sometimes it is frustrating when she will not check her oil and tries to drive with the check engine light on but then I can hide anything in a tool box. You might want to use an old tool box with grime and dirt on the outside but clean inside to further hide your kit.
Works well for me. Originally Posted by shooter1a
LOL! Tittibar shorts? Hahaha...Wait...12 condoms and KY. Ahahahaha. I'm gonna pee my pants!
Bluntman's Avatar
yeah I have had this happen in strip club before. I have no SO to worry about but I left a strip club at lunch time one day and noticed bright pink lipstick marks on the outside of my jeans on the crotch and I smelled like perfume so bad it was like I was wearing it. I had only one dance and a beer and didnt get any extras. luckily I was off that day and didnt have to go back to work. I dont think I could explain away pink stains on my crotch and perfume smell at work and now just hit strip clubs on my days off. when I go to a provider I am fine with it since I always try to go to upscale places or good indys and then take a shower at their place before leaving. and usually I take my clothes off before the BCD part starts so I am good to go at the end of the session.
... I smelled like perfume so bad it was like I was wearing it. Originally Posted by Bluntman
I guess you could use a blunt to get rid of that smell.
If you already take your laundry to the drycleaners, simply tell them what the stain is and they'll be able to remove it. Lipstick is oil-based.

Believe it or not, MaryKay makeup remover can be used on fabrics & materials without damaging them. Most MK consultants will have the small travel size bottles. Specifically ask because it's usually part of a hostess gift set. (The application instructions say to shake it up before using to mix the ingredients.)

Like others have mentioned, it's best to keep spare clothes & personal hygiene products handy for emergencies and be sure to inform the ladies that lipstick is a no-no against your discretion.
atlcomedy's Avatar
yeah I have had this happen in strip club before. I have no SO to worry about but I left a strip club at lunch time one day and noticed bright pink lipstick marks on the outside of my jeans on the crotch and I smelled like perfume so bad it was like I was wearing it. I had only one dance and a beer and didnt get any extras. luckily I was off that day and didnt have to go back to work. I dont think I could explain away pink stains on my crotch and perfume smell at work and now just hit strip clubs on my days off. when I go to a provider I am fine with it since I always try to go to upscale places or good indys and then take a shower at their place before leaving. and usually I take my clothes off before the BCD part starts so I am good to go at the end of the session. Originally Posted by Bluntman
Strippers are much worse than providers. First they are all dolled up with makeup & lipstick so they stand out from (or keep up with) the competition. Then the typical approach is to come up unsolicited brush up against a customer, maybe even a little peck on the cheek and inquire about a dance or a drink. So even if you aren't getting dances you can't avoid getting messed up...

Most of them are either unaware of what they are doing or don't care. A provider is worried about a review or repeat visits and is usually at least aware of the need to have him leave clean. The only good thing is the stench of smoke in a strip club is so heavy that it neutralizes the perfume.
My, my. That IS a quandry. LOL. I once had a client who was paranoid about these things (i.e. perfume, lipstick, the smell of the activity on his body after the fact). He was so paranoid, in fact, that he arrived at my in call from his office wearing a pair of gym shorts, tennis shoes, and a t-shirt. He said he did it specifically to avoid those things and that it wasn't an issue b/c he looked like he was just going to the gym at lunch.

Even if you aren't open to trying that, you could have just done what a few others have mentioned and simply taken off your suit/shirt/whatever once you arrive. If there's an issue with you being so bold when you arrive, then you can at least remove your shirt. As for the stained shirt you now have, why not just throw it out. I'm sure your SO has no clue how many shirts you even own. If she does, then you can still say you ruined it helping someone at work change a tire, etc etc. OR you could just replace the shirt that was stained. One wash and it will look like the previous one.

Its best to think ahead the next time. Part of the fun of seeing a provider is that she prepared to see you (i.e. flawless make up, attention to dressing, etc). Enjoy it.
  • Bliss
  • 06-19-2010, 05:41 PM
Just grow a pair. If she notices it, slap her on the ass and say, "OK, Chubby, you're next!" Originally Posted by TexTushHog
Fantastic!
69er's Avatar
  • 69er
  • 06-19-2010, 08:45 PM
Gather around guys. Snap-on tool box, brand new under the spare tire is just the right size to hold two spare shirts, a spare pair of dark dockers a pair of tittiebar shorts, twelve condoms and a tube of KY.... You know the standard hobby kit. Originally Posted by shooter1a
If you live in a hot climate, like here in Dallas... I don't suggest storing a dozen condom's in the trunk of the car. (Although the fact that you put a dozen in there is entertaining... but it is a bit hopeful... don't you think?) The heat will damage them after long term exposure. In the heat of the summer, I would change them out after two months.
oden's Avatar
  • oden
  • 06-19-2010, 11:00 PM
My, my. That IS a quandry. LOL. I once had a client who was paranoid about these things (i.e. perfume, lipstick, the smell of the activity on his body after the fact). He was so paranoid, in fact, that he arrived at my in call from his office wearing a pair of gym shorts, tennis shoes, and a t-shirt. He said he did it specifically to avoid those things and that it wasn't an issue b/c he looked like he was just going to the gym at lunch.

Even if you aren't open to trying that, you could have just done what a few others have mentioned and simply taken off your suit/shirt/whatever once you arrive. If there's an issue with you being so bold when you arrive, then you can at least remove your shirt. As for the stained shirt you now have, why not just throw it out. I'm sure your SO has no clue how many shirts you even own. If she does, then you can still say you ruined it helping someone at work change a tire, etc etc. OR you could just replace the shirt that was stained. One wash and it will look like the previous one.

Its best to think ahead the next time. Part of the fun of seeing a provider is that she prepared to see you (i.e. flawless make up, attention to dressing, etc). Enjoy it. Originally Posted by Nina Rae
One would hope, and I had assumed that make up, and especially lipstick would not make it to my collar or the rest of my shirt. Definitely my mistake for not having a backup plan but more a rookie mistake by the girl, don't you think?
Definitely my mistake for not having a backup plan but more a rookie mistake by the girl, don't you think? Originally Posted by oden
Sure the woman could have been more careful. Aren't you the one that chose to go see this woman? To blame her isn't taking responsibility for your own actions.
oden's Avatar
  • oden
  • 06-20-2010, 08:46 AM
Absolutely, but I am sure that you would not be thrilled to see someone show up to see you in gym clothes.
SlowHand49's Avatar
Gather around guys. Snap-on tool box, brand new under the spare tire . . . Originally Posted by shooter1a
It's probably just me, but every time I see a "Snap-on Tools" truck my mind somehow makes it read strap-on . . .
Willen's Avatar
The lipstick thing is sure a problem, but I went home recently after a way-too-carried away session to discover that I had bruises in all sorts of tough to explain places. Don't you know that took some adroit obfuscation. But you can do wonders with smoke and mirrors.

Which might be fun to explore sometime in a session.
Lipstick on the collar is a problem easily remedied. However, lipstick on the cock is entirely a different matter.
I keep a separate set of clothes there just for hobbying. They are washed at the laundromat, etc.

So I stop by the gym for a light workout, shower and clothing change on my way to the appointment; and stop by for a heavier workout, shower, and clothing change on my way back.

Problem solved! Wear all the lipstick and perfume that you'd like!

That is just a fringe benefit.

The real reason I do this may seem quaint; but just because my wife can't have sex with me doesn't make her in any way bad or evil. It's not her fault.

She does the laundry.

No way on earth am I going to trick her into washing and ironing clothes that will be worn for the benefit of some other woman. I am not going to add insult to injury.