What would you do ?

I’m sure it’s know but I’m not much of a dater since my fiancé passed away but I’m had an interesting turn of events and I’ve had a friend of 8 years start to look at taking things a bit more serious than just a friendship. His preference would be that I stop doing my hobby and just stick with my full time job and make ends meet that way.
Have any gals or men been given ultimatums by their significant others for them to stop hobby to have a serious relationship or to stop hobby or the relationship ends. I’m rather fond of the friendships I’ve made and I’m kinda way to sexual to just stick with one individual. Even my ex fiancé and I would have multiple partners we knew enjoy experiences with us but I definitely want to see where the potential of this friendship would go but I’m curious if it’s worth no hobbling all together.
Just curious if anyone’s had that experience and what they did. Not because I’m taking your guys advice but I’m just curious if anyone been through that. Originally Posted by JasminDelights

Hey Jasmin,
I got started in the hobby when my first wife died of breast cancer. The loss of a loved one can bring about some depression that none of us know how to deal with until it happens to us.

At the same time we are all creatures of sex and want to feel the touch and closeness of another. I remember one of my close friends told me several months after the funeral that I needed to get laid, and snap out of it. The hobby brought my life back twice, after the death of my first two wives.

My advice: use the hobby for what it is, and if you are lucky to find something beside the hobby, give up the hobby for what it is not.

Your question:

"I definitely want to see where the potential of this friendship would go but I’m curious if it’s worth no hobbling all together. "

Go for it girl. If you have a chance to find one who truly loves you, and can provide you with the dedication all of us would love to have in our lives; go for it.

It sounds like he could be wanting more from you. I hope that is true. I wish the two of you the best.

Most of the ladies, as some point in time, give up the hobby and move on with their lives: some do not. The point is, you can do what you want to do. It is not about the money, it is about grabbing life and doing whatever you can do to make the most of it.

I would be sorry to have missed seeing you. So what, it is your choice.



Grab a beer with me sometime and let me know how this comes out.

Thanks love I’m always done for a catch up !

Hey Jasmin,
I got started in the hobby when my first wife died of breast cancer. The loss of a loved one can bring about some depression that none of us know how to deal with until it happens to us.

At the same time we are all creatures of sex and want to feel the touch and closeness of another. I remember one of my close friends told me several months after the funeral that I needed to get laid, and snap out of it. The hobby brought my life back twice, after the death of my first two wives.

My advice: use the hobby for what it is, and if you are lucky to find something beside the hobby, give up the hobby for what it is not.

Your question:

"I definitely want to see where the potential of this friendship would go but I’m curious if it’s worth no hobbling all together. "

Go for it girl. If you have a chance to find one who truly loves you, and can provide you with the dedication all of us would love to have in our lives; go for it.

It sounds like he could be wanting more from you. I hope that is true. I wish the two of you the best.

Most of the ladies, as some point in time, give up the hobby and move on with their lives: some do not. The point is, you can do what you want to do. It is not about the money, it is about grabbing life and doing whatever you can do to make the most of it.

I would be sorry to have missed seeing you. So what, it is your choice.



Grab a beer with me sometime and let me know how this comes out.

Originally Posted by JRLawrence

Maybe you can have an open relationship with him with multiple partners together and separately but always go home to each other each night. Just a thought. Jealousy would be something that you both would have to keep in check there though. Originally Posted by CryptKicker

I like that recommendation but I’m going to have to float the boat a bit and see how things play out. Originally Posted by JasminDelights

I've floated that boat. We see each other a handful of times each year and vaca together. We're in different cities so that's what we came up with.

I've floated that boat. We see each other a handful of times each year and vaca together. We're in different cities so that's what we came up with. Originally Posted by Unique_Carpenter

We sat down and drew a line so starting January services I provide completely change and I’ll be asking friends about recommendations for prices since offers won’t be the same. I’m excited to see where things go.
Thanks for such a supportive outlook
Much love
Jaz

my experiences with matters like this is that it never seems to work out! my first thought is it being an 8 year friendship.

this man has had feelings for you from the get go he didn't just develop them after such a long period of time. my thoughts are he has not been honest from day one about his feelings!

then again maybe he has just been in relationships and couldn't act on those feeling.

either way in my experiences these scenarios never work out.

for him to ask of you to quit one of your jobs just for him is selfish. he has known about the hobby all this time yet now that he wants to be with you it is a problem!

if this man is not willing to supply the income lost by quitting your job.
then he has no right to ask such a thing of you.

also if he were a close friend in these 8 years he knows your sexual proclivities and now wants you to stop!

he is setting you up for failure

in closing i think you will be unhappy with the decision you've made! you will be unhappy sexually and you're going to lose the income you obviously need for whatever reason by quitting the hobby.

good luck i hope it turns out the way you'd like! since you've already made your decision.

this is just my .02

Satan666

Jas,
A followup comment on my thing with a gal as a perspective check:
First, we're both easily a generation older than you, and that in itself probably results in a different perspective on life, universe, the #42, etc. We've know each other for a zillion years. We've both run independent lives for that long also. Both have kids, both divorced, both a ton of baggage, etc. It's only several yrs ago we started the intermittent civie thing. We do not expect each other to make life changes, nor ask. Nor did we ask for exclusivtivity. Frankly, we expected it to fall apart, and, it could fall apart by lunch time. We simply hang out, book vacas, and have keys to each others place. As mentioned, we're in diff cities so that prob helped with expectations of each other.

Satan, has a point (OMG) about the guy wanting you to change. And, yes, changing your menu will result in a decrease in business revenue.

But....
Maybe it will work for you. Just have appropriate expectations. Sometimes you do have to grab for the prize even if you risk falling off a horse. Been there, done that, it hurts, pick myself up, get back on the horse, and fall off again, that's life.

My perspective is this.... you do you. You will never know if this is the right thing unless you jump into it and give it a try. The guy could be the love of your life and if you listen to all of these folks telling you how bad it could be you will never know. In all honesty the only reason it's any of our business is because you asked our opinion. In the end you can only follow your heart, your gut, and your mind. If it works you won't be sorry. If it doesn't it's life lesson. I've always lived by the idea that I would rather have loved and got my heart ripped out because of it than to never have loved at all. Good luck to you hun.

^^^^^^
And the Texan presents the long version of just get back up on a horse if you fall off.

Btw, watching a sunset from horseback is quite an experience.

We sat down and drew a line so starting January services I provide completely change and I’ll be asking friends about recommendations for prices since offers won’t be the same. I’m excited to see where things go.
Thanks for such a supportive outlook
Much love
Jaz Originally Posted by JasminDelights

We are all growing older and some day will leave this hobby
Jazz I think this could be a great thing for you
But only you can make that choice and with mutaul hard work can make it work
I wish you the best
PS you will never know till you try