Emotions, feelings and the hobby

You mean, she doesn't think my tractor's sexy?

MsElena your right no money no honey that's the bottom line. The truth.

That being said, this hobby is not the place for emotions and you are asking to get your feelings hurt if you think different. Originally Posted by GiveMeLibertyOrGiveMeHead

I, politely, disagree with the above statement you made. We can agree to disagree lol.

In my personal opinion there is no way that I could see the same gentleman over and over again, and not develop feelings for that person.

Regardless of your views, you are not a provider, and would have no way of knowing whether I, or any other provider, genuinely cared about someone or not. (Maybe I read your post incorrectly. If I did I apologize for addressing you with that comment. Moving on.)

For one, I am a women (I am woman hear me roar lol). Our whole milieu as women is based on (and runs off) Emotion(s). All day and All night. It's probably what men Hate the most, and Love the most about Women... outside of their pussy, ass, tits, crease in the inner thighs and other various body parts that men view as a turn on.

However you are a man, and I believe that men can easily separate themselves from emotion. So I buy into your statement where you say you "Do not feel love or emotions of love/caring".

Would you acknowledge that you might just possibly have an "energy" block going on (guarded heart/closed or blocked heart chakra) that you have built up as a defense mechanism against getting hurt... again? Maybe, Maybe not. I am not you so I have absolutely no knowledge of where you are in your Life. Dismiss this if not truth, or just flat out tell me, "Look lady you are completely wrong. Fuck Off!", and I will go back to my corner lol.

I just, personally, find it an impossibility to believe that humans in this lifestyle would at no point begin to develop "feelings" for one another when we are dealing with a subject matter that has our very existence playing into question (Procreation). I would assume that area of our lives (procreation and all that goes with that) would be the area Most filled with Emotion.

Also that thing we joke around about called "chemistry" is actually a real phenomenon. When two people come together, and are putting off the same energy or like energy, they are going to be "magically" drawn to each other finding each other almost irresistible. That's why a man can fall madly in love with one woman, and another woman is like yesterday's garbage to him. It's that Energy connection.

Lastly I would say a good indication to any man that a provider is "really" into him (in lust/like/love with him) is, yes, that she will see him for Free.

However, the most important fact is that some providers do this "hobby/lifestyle" as their one and only job, and if they saw everyone they really enjoyed for free they would soon find themselves broke and homeless. How attractive is she to him then if she is living in a van down by the river? (lol hee hee)

I understand and respect that you have your opinion as I have mine. I am just suggesting that maybe just don't make this lifestyle so Black and White, but rather smudge it together until it is a sensual, alluring and delectable shade of Gray.

From my perspective I feel this is supposed to be about opening ourselves up to possibilities instead of setting up a list of rules and regulations that we must abide by in order to play in the hobby. That takes all the Fun out of it for me. I'll tell you this. Once I started lightening up a ton, I began to enjoy this lifestyle to degrees I never thought imaginable. (Disclaimer: This does not disregard our "screening" rule that we must adhere to maintain our safety)

Here is a great quote to end on...

"Sometimes We Need To Stop Analyzing The Past, Stop Planning The Future, Stop Figuring Out Precisely How We Feel, Stop Deciding Exactly What We Want and Just See What Happens." ~Quote from Sex and The City~

I may have a completely different take on this whole "emotions" and "feelings" shit because I don't feel many emotions. Don't get that confused with me not giving a shit though, I just don't have feelings like normal people do. That is a big reason I am in the hobby in the first place. I have tried to fake it many times because I like the comfort of a relationship, but I just don't have the same feelings as most people. Looking at all the sick and twisted things people do in this world in the name of love...I'm kind of glad I can't feel it though. The lack of emotions in no way means that I do not respect providers and I am always very nice to them and believe that you get back what you put out in this world so I am always respectful and kind...unless you try to rip me off. Originally Posted by GiveMeLibertyOrGiveMeHead

When my parents pressure me to get married to have kids..I laugh at them, why the hell do I want kids?
Biology makes everyone it's bitch

That being said, this hobby is not the place for emotions and you are asking to get your feelings hurt if you think different. No if ands or buts about it, if you are falling for providers you need to back off for a bit and think really hard about what exactly it is you are looking for. You will not find love, (whatever that is) paying for someone to spend time with you. You do understand that they would not be there if you did not pay them to be there...right? Originally Posted by GiveMeLibertyOrGiveMeHead

Well said.
This is why I go dutch on 1st dates.
Love is doing something with no expectations of anything in return that costs you time/money/effort.
You can quantify most things.

I, politely, disagree with the above statement you made. We can agree to disagree lol.

In my personal opinion there is no way that I could see the same gentleman over and over again, and not develop feelings for that person. Originally Posted by Urban Dahlia

I would expect nothing less from you...it is much better for you if we buy into the illusion and the harder we fall the more money you make.

Regardless of your views, you are not a provider, and would have no way of knowing whether I, or any other provider, genuinely cared about someone or not. (Maybe I read your post incorrectly. If I did I apologize for addressing you with that comment. Moving on.) Originally Posted by Urban Dahlia

My post was specifically for men. You are correct that I am not a provider and do not know anything about what you are feeling or not feeling. What I do know is that you charge money for your time and I pay money to spend time with you. If I am a man that falls for you, it is in your financial interest to give me the illusion that you feel something for me or I may not spend the money for your time anymore. I am not judging in any way...it is what it is. I am just saying that us men should not be so stupid and just see it for what it is...I do.

For one, I am a women (I am woman hear me roar lol). Our whole milieu as women is based on (and runs off) Emotion(s). All day and All night. It's probably what men Hate the most, and Love the most about Women... outside of their pussy, ass, tits, crease in the inner thighs and other various body parts that men view as a turn on. Originally Posted by Urban Dahlia

I do appreciate the fact that women are so emotional, but I hate the fact that they expect us men to be emotional as well, (talking about outside the hobby btw).

However you are a man, and I believe that men can easily separate themselves from emotion. So I buy into your statement where you say you "Do not feel love or emotions of love/caring". Originally Posted by Urban Dahlia

I wasn't selling anything, but I am glad you buy it. I didn't say I don't care about others by the way.

Would you acknowledge that you might just possibly have an "energy" block going on (guarded heart/closed or blocked heart chakra) that you have built up as a defense mechanism against getting hurt... again? Maybe, Maybe not. I am not you so I have absolutely no knowledge of where you are in your Life. Dismiss this if not truth, or just flat out tell me, "Look lady you are completely wrong. Fuck Off!", and I will go back to my corner lol. Originally Posted by Urban Dahlia

No I will not acknowledge that. It's not that I don't want to feel love...it's that I cannot. I have tried really hard and have wanted to be in love several times. I feel comfortable in relationships and having someone to spend time with, share deep intellectual conversations with, fall asleep with and wake up to is great, but it always ends with women expecting me to fall in love with them and marry them. I wish I could...I really do.

I just, personally, find it an impossibility to believe that humans in this lifestyle would at no point begin to develop "feelings" for one another when we are dealing with a subject matter that has our very existence playing into question (Procreation). I would assume that area of our lives (procreation and all that goes with that) would be the area Most filled with Emotion. Originally Posted by Urban Dahlia

I am dealing with sex, not procreation. I am not sure what business you are in...

Also that thing we joke around about called "chemistry" is actually a real phenomenon. When two people come together, and are putting off the same energy or like energy, they are going to be "magically" drawn to each other finding each other almost irresistible. That's why a man can fall madly in love with one woman, and another woman is like yesterday's garbage to him. It's that Energy connection. Originally Posted by Urban Dahlia

Again...I wish I could feel that. I can fall madly in lust with a woman if that is the chemistry you are talking about.

Lastly I would say a good indication to any man that a provider is "really" into him (in lust/like/love with him) is, yes, that she will see him for Free. Originally Posted by Urban Dahlia

And the answer will always be no.

I understand and respect that you have your opinion as I have mine. I am just suggesting that maybe just don't make this lifestyle so Black and White, but rather smudge it together until it is a sensual, alluring and delectable shade of Gray. Originally Posted by Urban Dahlia

How much can you smudge the fact that you are charging me for your time and I am paying you for your time? It's pretty black and white to me and I would have it no other way. That is the reason I am here. I am not looking for love or any other emotions. I am looking for one thing and one thing only and most of the providers I have seen so far have gone above and beyond and I appreciate and respect every single one of you.

From my perspective I feel this is supposed to be about opening ourselves up to possibilities instead of setting up a list of rules and regulations that we must abide by in order to play in the hobby. That takes all the Fun out of it for me. I'll tell you this. Once I started lightening up a ton, I began to enjoy this lifestyle to degrees I never thought imaginable. (Disclaimer: This does not disregard our "screening" rule that we must adhere to maintain our safety) Originally Posted by Urban Dahlia

I am open to any possibility and all for having fun...no holes barred...bring it on. None of that has anything to do with emotions and everything to do with pleasure.

How much can you smudge the fact that you are charging me for your time and I am paying you for your time? It's pretty black and white to me and I would have it no other way. That is the reason I am here. I am not looking for love or any other emotions. I am looking for one thing and one thing only and most of the providers I have seen so far have gone above and beyond and I appreciate and respect every single one of you.
. Originally Posted by GiveMeLibertyOrGiveMeHead

You are paying for time?
That's just not true; otherwise everyone would have an A++ time and you would spend more time with the $ girl than the $$$ girls.

I think we can see the grey in your black and white comment.

Otherwise, I'm in agreement with what you said.

I would expect nothing less from you...it is much better for you if we buy into the illusion and the harder we fall the more money you make.



My post was specifically for men. You are correct that I am not a provider and do not know anything about what you are feeling or not feeling. What I do know is that you charge money for your time and I pay money to spend time with you. If I am a man that falls for you, it is in your financial interest to give me the illusion that you feel something for me or I may not spend the money for your time anymore. I am not judging in any way...it is what it is. I am just saying that us men should not be so stupid and just see it for what it is...I do.



I do appreciate the fact that women are so emotional, but I hate the fact that they expect us men to be emotional as well, (talking about outside the hobby btw).



I wasn't selling anything, but I am glad you buy it. I didn't say I don't care about others by the way.



No I will not acknowledge that. It's not that I don't want to feel love...it's that I cannot. I have tried really hard and have wanted to be in love several times. I feel comfortable in relationships and having someone to spend time with, share deep intellectual conversations with, fall asleep with and wake up to is great, but it always ends with women expecting me to fall in love with them and marry them. I wish I could...I really do.



I am dealing with sex, not procreation. I am not sure what business you are in...



Again...I wish I could feel that. I can fall madly in lust with a woman if that is the chemistry you are talking about.



And the answer will always be no.



How much can you smudge the fact that you are charging me for your time and I am paying you for your time? It's pretty black and white to me and I would have it no other way. That is the reason I am here. I am not looking for love or any other emotions. I am looking for one thing and one thing only and most of the providers I have seen so far have gone above and beyond and I appreciate and respect every single one of you.



I am open to any possibility and all for having fun...no holes barred...bring it on. None of that has anything to do with emotions and everything to do with pleasure. Originally Posted by GiveMeLibertyOrGiveMeHead

For me I find that sometimes it's better to step out of the middle of something so you can see the big picture instead of only viewing the world from a place where you have tunnel vision.

When I am able to step back from something I can admire it for ALL its Beauty (combining both the good AND bad qualities), and not just for its individual parts which are either usually one way or the other (good OR bad).

I consider myself to be more of a deep "Life" thinker, and I view the world a little differently. I have learned that taking everything in as more of a whole, and less of an individual, helps me to set things into a balanced perspective. A world where anything is possible, and that we are all connected together.

Speaking of holes though. I will disagree with your "no holes barred" comment lol. I have one that is barred LOL.

On your comment about those women you dated in the past who were "wanting marriage". You stated that you couldn't give them what they needed. I understand you.

Men will never truly fall in love with someone until they meet the "right" woman. When they do, they will know and it will hit them in the face like a brick. They will discover they can not live without her. He will then propose marriage.

If forced into this before this change in his heart and mind occurs , he will never be happy, content or satisfied. Tragedy and heartbreak usually ensues.

So I actually commend and compliment you for having the strength to be honest letting these women know that you weren't able to give them what they need (marriage). You just haven't met the "right" one yet.

A lot of men would have gone ahead and got married to appease the women so as not to hurt her emotionally. They then lose all sight of "who" they are finding themselves miserable for many years of their life until they finally decide to search elsewhere for love or ultimately get divorced.

I appreciate your response to my post. I enjoy when someone can debate with me in a mature context. Your reply helps me to see a little bit deeper into how you view your world.

That's what life is all about. Experience/Wisdom, Understanding/Compassion and Most of All Connection/Love...
(I am referring to "Love" in a general definition, not so much just about amorous love)

I fall in love daily

Hell yea JR, I agree. I would much rather read comments than deal with weirdo chicks rating my threads as 1 star or creating fake accounts on NR and then posting a false terrible review. Then the silly girl gets mad if I reply to her posts on this site and plays the predictable victim card and cries that I'm arguiing with her. Yea, I know who this heffer is and I am used to her antics...it's rather flattering to get this much attention from her. LOL!

I once heard a quote and I don't remember who it's by but maybe some over jealous people in this hobby could learn from it.....

'Our enemies are our best teachers.' Originally Posted by Gemma34

Just read the comments and try to understand the person. The problem with guys is that most of the time we don't understand the amount of effort girls go into to manipulate us. It is a game women play to try to manage us.

In the real world, it is an effort to find a woman who is a friend and a partner. I found it three times, lost three wives but I feel blessed with all three.

In the hobby, we can put the games aside. We are not looking to develop a relationship.

For the girls in the hobby, I have found that many of the girls just want to be treated respectfully and nicely; and for some, it is a chance to have pleasant sex and get paid for it at the same time. Nothing wrong with that. Many of the girls need to extra income for their children. For me, children are all that counts in this life.

I don't like to play games with myself, or to have others play a game with me. Just walk away.

JR

Maybe I'm misreading your "I have no feelings"description, GiveMe, but one take on that part of your personality explanation could in another vein be construed to be some degree if sociopathic disorder. You know, like serial killers.

GiveMeLiberty; This would be well worth your time to read. http://sfhelp.org/gwc/wounds/bonding.htm

Dahlia, insightful post & I love the quote.

I consider myself to be more of a deep "Life" thinker, and I view the world a little differently. I have learned that taking everything in as more of a whole, and less of an individual, helps me to set things into a balanced perspective. A world where anything is possible, and that we are all connected together. Originally Posted by Urban Dahlia

From your responses and previous responses to other posts I can see that. I think we would actually get along great. I like the way you think...you seem like an intelligent woman.

Speaking of holes though. I will disagree with your "no holes barred" comment lol. I have one that is barred LOL. Originally Posted by Urban Dahlia

That's funny! I was wondering if anyone would get my choice of words there. Don't worry though, I'm sure the holes that aren't barred would be enough to have an incredible time with you.

So I actually commend and compliment you for having the strength to be honest letting these women know that you weren't able to give them what they need (marriage). You just haven't met the "right" one yet. Originally Posted by Urban Dahlia

The "right one"??? Shit like that just puts pressure on finding Mr or Mrs "right". What if you spend an entire life passing up Mr or Mrs good enough trying to find the "right one" and they just don't exist? Or better yet, what if they died before you meet them or you die before they meet you? Does that mean that you have no chance? Or are there multiple Mr or Mrs rights for everyone. I think the whole "right one" is bullshit.

I appreciate your response to my post. I enjoy when someone can debate with me in a mature context. Your reply helps me to see a little bit deeper into how you view your world. Originally Posted by Urban Dahlia

I appreciate you responding in a mature and thought provoking manner as well. It's a pleasant change to the defensive or angry replies on this same topic I have gotten on other boards. It is nice to see and I would love, (yeah, I said love) to sit down and have some great conversation and maybe a heated debate or two with you, but since I wouldn't pay for a conversation and you wouldn't see me for free...

Maybe I'm misreading your "I have no feelings"description, GiveMe, but one take on that part of your personality explanation could in another vein be construed to be some degree if sociopathic disorder. You know, like serial killers. Originally Posted by bartipero

You actually are misreading that...here let me help you. What I said was "I don't feel many emotions". I can see where you would get any and many confused as they sound the same and both have two syllables, but they do mean two totally different things.

By the way, If I was a sociopath, would you really be calling me out? No one is anonymous in today's technology driven world and it would not be hard to find you...just saying.

Beautiful Dahlia... I'm having deja vu of a conversation we had about this very subject not that long ago. I greatly appreciated your advice and validation on the subject. I 100% agree with everything that you said. Yes it's about the money but women are emotional creatures. I've found myself in a pickle with this situation more than once, and it's always ended up uglier if i don't just remove myself from the situation. Most men have the emotional connection at home and the ones that don't would be on match.com not ECCIE if thats what they were looking for.
I often wonder if providers that don't provide the "GFE" experience have less of this issue...

Beautiful Dahlia... I'm having deja vu of a conversation we had about this very subject not that long ago. I greatly appreciated your advice and validation on the subject. I 100% agree with everything that you said. Yes it's about the money but women are emotional creatures. I've found myself in a pickle with this situation more than once, and it's always ended up uglier if i don't just remove myself from the situation. Most men have the emotional connection at home and the ones that don't would be on match.com not ECCIE if they were looking for that.
I often wonder if providers that don't provide the "GFE" experience have less of this issue... Originally Posted by ChloeBB

I didn't read what Dahlia said luv..

If you say it is so...it is so..LOL
GTb quite outstanding on this Artic night...
Sailing along..

I didn't read what Dahlia said luv..

If you say it is so...it is so..LOL
GTb quite outstanding on this Artic night...
Sailing along..

Originally Posted by malwoody

It's because her explanation was 18 paragraphs long and it would take up the entire page to quote it again lol

....I often read eccie on my phone,andhave to scroll down a bunch with long quoted posts, that was not meant to be rude in any way.