Emotions, feelings and the hobby

It's because her explanation was 18 paragraphs long and it would take up the entire page to quote it again lol Originally Posted by ChloeBB

I believe he means that he has me on "ignore". Hilarious.

You're welcome. I enjoyed our conversation too. Felt like a new person with lots of new thoughts to process after that. Realized I was in the same boat, and it felt good to feel a connection with another woman. Finished it up with a slice of a D'Bronx Special pizza, and a trip to Prosperos used book store next door. What a great day!

I appreciate you responding in a mature and thought provoking manner as well. It's a pleasant change to the defensive or angry replies on this same topic I have gotten on other boards. It is nice to see and I would love, (yeah, I said love) to sit down and have some great conversation and maybe a heated debate or two with you, but since I wouldn't pay for a conversation and you wouldn't see me for free... Originally Posted by GiveMeLibertyOrGiveMeHead

Have you ever seen that gelato commercial that is done entirely in Italian? The man and woman are have a very heated argument where she is breaking dishes and cursing him in Italian. She does this until she realizes he brought home the new Haggen-Dazs Gelato creations. Then they are very amorous with each other, but quickly return to arguing again. It's a super funny commercial LOL.

GiveMeLiberty; This would be well worth your time to read. http://sfhelp.org/gwc/wounds/bonding.htm

Dahlia, insightful post & I love the quote. Originally Posted by everyman kc

Thank You. I am a quote freak lol.

I feel like we are all coming together to have an Intervention with GiveMeLiberty lol. "It's okay. We are here for you. We just want to help you." LOL

I have a bad habit of doing that to people. In all fairness though I am open about my flaws and short comings with the people I interact. Sorry if I am coming across as a goofy summer camp counselor with an acoustic guitar playing Kumbaya, huge creepy smile and a bad early 80's hair cut LOL.

It's because her explanation was 18 paragraphs long and it would take up the entire page to quote it again lol

....I often read eccie on my phone,andhave to scroll down a bunch with long quoted posts, that was not meant to be rude in any way. Originally Posted by ChloeBB

I believe he means that he has me on "ignore". Hilarious. Originally Posted by Urban Dahlia

Mea Culpa...I had not gotten a chance to read it yet..
How could I put either of you on ignore...?

Mea Culpa...I had not gotten a chance to read it yet..
How could I put either of you on ignore...? Originally Posted by malwoody

"Mea Culpa" ... Wow impressive. I thought only Popes knew Latin anymore these days. Sexy!

Good to know I am still readable worthy haha.

Ohhh, I am sure there are a few who have hit the ignore button on the 'ol Dahlia a time or two in the past lol. C'est la vie...

Mea Culpa...I had not gotten a chance to read it yet..
How could I put either of you on ignore...? Originally Posted by malwoody

I had to look up what mea culpa meant. I speak Greek not Latin

"Mea Culpa" ... Wow impressive. I thought only Popes knew Latin anymore these days. Sexy!

Good to know I am still readable worthy haha.

Ohhh, I am sure there are a few who have hit the ignore button on the 'ol Dahlia a time or two in the past lol. C'est la vie...
Originally Posted by Urban Dahlia

Dahlia, I can't imagine anyone putting you on ignore. Not only are you lovely, but intelligent, articulate and insightful as well. This has been an interesting thread, with several poignant postings and I've enjoyed reading your thoughts on this, sometimes, confusing subject. I tend to agree with you that it's almost impossible to separate real feelings from the fantasy of this subculture, particularly when the parties involved have real chemistry between them. Sometimes, people just click with each other and a true friendship can develop. I do believe that both people have to understand that there may be some "bumps in the road", some boundaries may need to be established, and be prepared to deal with those. It can work, if the two parties develop true feelings for each other and are non-judgemental.

Just a quick point, along with the disclaimer that I have not read this WHOLE thread. ----I see you folks are talking about emotions and feelings, BUT you are ignoring commitment! For me, the hobby is a place where I can interact sexually with women I like, and whom I DO care about. However, the understanding is that there is absolutely NO COMMITMENT- I already have a commitment to someone else. That does not mean that I do not have feelings for the ladies I see in the hobby, it is just that we both understand that there is, and will be, no commitment.

I might be wrong, but I always thought that most guys in the hobby were married. If not, why not check out the dating scene rather than ECCIE?

Just my $0.02

Charlie

Just a quick point, along with the disclaimer that I have not read this WHOLE thread. ----I see you folks are talking about emotions and feelings, BUT you are ignoring commitment! For me, the hobby is a place where I can interact sexually with women I like, and whom I DO care about. However, the understanding is that there is absolutely NO COMMITMENT- I already have a commitment to someone else. That does not mean that I do not have feelings for the ladies I see in the hobby, it is just that we both understand that there is, and will be, no commitment.

I might be wrong, but I always thought that most guys in the hobby were married. If not, why not check out the dating scene rather than ECCIE?

Just my $0.02

Charlie Originally Posted by nycalcharlie2003

You answered your own question earlier in your post.

I might be wrong, but I always thought that most guys in the hobby were married. If not, why not check out the dating scene rather than ECCIE? Originally Posted by nycalcharlie2003

There are TONS of single guys in the hobby. The way I look at is like this: You can stand on the street corner holding a sign up asking for money. Everyone who drives by gives you a $100 bill. Wow super easy! So why would you want to go get a job where you are going to have to work your ass off to get almost that same amount of money? The dating scene is not that easy. Not easy at all.

Sometimes, people just click with each other and a true friendship can develop. I do believe that both people have to understand that there may be some "bumps in the road", some boundaries may need to be established, and be prepared to deal with those. It can work, if the two parties develop true feelings for each other and are non-judgmental. Originally Posted by stimulatethemind

Who said anything about being non-judgmental (lol)? Ohhhh, I'm teasing (hmm somewhat lol). I am not sure that part would be left out, and that, Yes, there would be many bumps in the road.

It has happened before though.

Didn't DirtyDog say that he married an escort? Thought I read that somewhere. Also Carly Core and Jeff (?) come to mind. Was it easy street for them? Who knows, but none-the-less a love/relationship did happen for them.

There are many variations that we could all take part in, not just saying a "committed relationship" is our only option with exploring emotions in the hobby. It could be anything, your choice.

It would be up to each individual to decide just how much emotion they wanted to invest with the other person. I believe it would be different for each couple (or group lol kidding haha).

Let's not narrow this down to a definite answer, but leave the options in more of a translucent form. Make the rules up as you go, and at any time if that did not meet your expectation then you make changes or end it.

It's not the end of the world. People come together, and move away from each other every day. Either way the sun is still going to come up the next day.

So I do believe emotions in the hobby to be a possibility, and if done "right" could prove to be very healthy.

In a world where anything is possible, why automatically cross something off as an impossibility without letting you mind at least explore the idea a little first?

My only advice (mainly to myself lol) would be to make sure we keep our hearts open, Always, No matter what happens (how it turns out).

Otherwise if it goes sour, we might have the tendency to close up / turn off our heart / shut down / and write off the potential for ever feeling love again.

That's never healthy for a person as I know first hand because I have done that in the past. It's definitely a cozy safe place to hide, but it can also be a very lonely and unhappy place as well.

That's why I am under "new management" lol. I got tired of playing it safe all the time. Time for a new journey (without a journey I am lost lol).

Good, Bad or Ugly... I am stepping out into the Field Of Infinite Possibilities...
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Good, Bad or Ugly... I am stepping out into the Field Of Infinite Possibilities...
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Originally Posted by Urban Dahlia

for how long? 2-10 more years? Then what will you do?

I had to look up what mea culpa meant. I speak Greek not Latin Originally Posted by ChloeBB

That's a relief....cause I ain't no Latin Lover....

Very well said! I agree

I would say that there's a difference between having a liking or even genuine affection for a woman that you see, and letting that affection cloud your vision of reality. I've been accused (here) of being fairly hard-hearted, and I suppose that I can be - but that doesn't mean that I haven't taken a strong liking to women that I've seen here. But, I've been able to keep from being a drama queen because I always remember what the underpinning of the relationship is. And I've yet to have a woman that I've seen in the 'hobby' offer to do me for free....

I had to look up what mea culpa meant. I speak Greek not Latin Originally Posted by ChloeBB

I actually started a relationship with one of my clients.
And have had others tell me that they want to actually date me. And I've become friends with most of the guys I see. But most of my clients are regulars, not one timers. Some I see on a weekly, monthly or even bi-monthly basis.
This is not an easy business or hobby to remain aloof when being passionate and affectionate.
If we were robots, then we could avoid our feelings getting involved, but just because we become emotionally involved doesn't mean we fall in love. It just means that we care and are human.

Falling in love is easy. Staying in love...not so much. But man, that stuff is sooooo good!

KT Oslin sang, "I will swear I'll love you forever. And when forever's over, I'm gonna be kind. 'Cuz I don't see any reason to see a heart all broken and bleeding. Especially when that little heart might be mine. Right now, I'm in love with you, baby. This woman don't think you can do no wrong. But I feel it's only fair to warn you. This woman don't stay in love for long."

Nothing wrong with two folks falling in love while they're naked. Actually, it's fucking awesome! However, it's important to keep things in perspective, right?

For the guy who asked, "Will a provider do you for free? If yes, she has feelings."

Well, I guess I would ask, "Will you introduce me to your wife?" If yes, you have feelings for me.

Both are requests that are outside the realm of reasonable expectations yet you can still have intense feelings for each other.

Still, I say, go for it. Fall in love a little bit. Make a damned fool out of yourself for the sake of the way it feels when you're together. I'm sure we have all been a fool for lesser things. Reveal yourself with arms wide open to another person who just might "get" you and your shit. Be the pages of someone's diary. Then, go back to your real life with your family, your career, your hobbies outside the hobby and finding things of value that can't be bought or sold.

Peace out from a hippie soul. As Stephen Stills sang, "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with."

Seductrix4u