I apologize in advance if this is intrusive for some of you; directed towards those who don't mind opening up and sharing. I greatly appreciate all input.

I started in the hobby to get what I wasn't getting at home. I love my wife, but sex is a once a week thing (at best). When we do have it she is mish only, no Bjs, no tit play, etc. I love pleasing a woman and she cums every time we are together, but her sex drive is low.
I have also found that there are 3 kinds of intercourse: Sex, making love and fucking.
Sex: an educational form of intercourse, in where you are learning or trying something out
Making love: an emotional type of intercourse where you are all in emotionally and physically
Fucking: a primal form of intercourse, in where your desires and inhibitions are let out.
I find that my wife is only interstead in making love. Which is ok, but sometimes you just need to let the animal out or try new things.
Well thanks for listening.

Mike123,

Sex once a week and you're complaining!!??

I kid, I kid.

Wow such great diversee experiences. It was amazing reading through the posts and gave me courage to share my reason to be here:
Well I'm 30, havent been in a relationship since 5 years (was a painful breakup) then put myself through college/Bachelors, turned into a workaholic partly due to need partly just to get away from everything. Put my siblings through college(fully supported them) now they are happy and I realized that I should go out meet good people and maybe have some fun for myself. Its just that everything has become organized and I want to change it...Any words of advice?

Wow. I am amazed at all the stories. I thought I was alone.

I've been married for 6.5 years. We are just now getting a divorce. We barely ever had sex. And it was less than 5 minutes with no foreplay. He never wanted to kiss me or even hug me. We were always fighting though. I matured very quickly and he (who is 7 years older than me) never seemed to mature. He always thought only about himself. He was never happy with life. He always wanted more and more. I tried to please him but it was all temporary. Now that I've been officially single for the past two months my sex drive has sky rocketed. I want to have sex all the time. I love meeting new people and having fun without them thinking bad of me. You can't go to a bar and sleep with anyone or they will call you nasty names. Some even get addicted to me and then start stalking me. I had one guy threaten suicide because I wouldn't be with him. I so much more prefer hobbyist because I don't have to worry about that stuff. I honestly don't know if I will ever find a relationship. I want to....but I'm just not sure.

Another reason I love the hobby is that it's a great self-esteem booster. My ex always said I was fat and would point out all my flaws. I honestly thought I was ugly. Now I am seeing otherwise.

Now that my ex is seeing all the guys chasing me he wants to get back with me. Sorry, dude....you lost out.

My so is a good woman, she is just losing her fire.
As if she wants to grow old- and me as well.
Uh I'll get there soon enough.
It's about attitude. Not a love for life- feh rats
got that- rather a lust for life.

My menu to choose from.
Time- 30 min tot max
Fee- half of everything and the house
Svcs- bbbj NOcim, lfk, one position daty,
NO 69, no ass play or worship, if you do daty
NO kissing afterwards, mish, k9
once in a blue moon cg or asian cg.
She is a clock watcher.

Neither of us are hard on the eyes.
I just never realized how much of a
prude she could be. Since the daughters
have matured she has taken to more modest
clothing- and the girls follow suit- okay I get
her motivation and intent. But BCD? Really?
Bleh- it's a lame argument and I'm a perv.

So this is where atf comes in.

SO is happier that I'm being 'normal' now.

.......whatever

Texas_guy,

Just go out and do it. If you want to find someone special, you just have to get out and do it. Put yourself out there.

I have been divorced for almost 4 years and have only dated a handful of times. It's hard finding the right one.

But good luck and let us know how it turns out.

This is a wonderful thread. It is nice to see people be open and no one bashing them for their situations.

I use to look at things very black and white and didn't allow gray. I have been blessed with learning a wonderful lesson about different shades of gray due to hobbying.

I've never been married or had a relationship last over 4 years (most last about 2 years). I don't think I am cut out to be in a relationship. I like the "honeymoon" stage, but once sex become boring or mundane - I don't do well.

I was in a relationship with a married man (kept woman) and needed more than he had the time for (we talked about me seeing others). I first went on craigslist casual encounters (as in free - wasn't looking for a relationship - just some laughs, dinners, and good sex without drama). I got a TON of responses, but most not worthy of a response. Of the few men I did meet - WOW - the total lack of cooth. I ended up not hooking up with anyone and just masturbated a lot.

Then within a month, my job ended as well as my situation with my married man.

I just combined my naturally high libido, need of making a living, and wanting to spend time with fun companions into hobbying and been very happy in the almost 2 years of this. I love having a variety of friends with different wants and likes. Looking back, I am probably made for this job and surprised I didn't start it sooner in life.

Side note: It is funny how I seemly get more respect from men doing this than I did on my short stint on "casual encounters".

OMG!!! Malaya, I think I am looking right into a mirror!!! I'd love to speak w you personally for some advice. Every single thing you said, is exactly what I'm going thru. Including, the age difference, neglect, never being satisfied etc. I'd live to here how you finally gained the courage to leave. I feel the exact same way. Ladies like you, are what gives me such great hope!!!

Exactly Gigi, I am so glad, this thread stated open and honest, and of course very educating, wo ANY bashing!!! It shows we CAN have wonderful threads w pure heart and soul, while keeping everyone happy!!

Malaya, correction. ** I'd love to hear**

Wow you guys make me feel lucky. I have no kids, I'm young, I'm in school, and I have a bf that accepts what i do(that doesn't mean he likes it lol) I've always been kinky but never had the confidence to back it up. I lost my job a few months ago and couldn't find another so I started doing this. This job give me the confidence I never had, it makes me feel good about myself, and the men treat me so well they are very respectful. I'm very happy with where I am at but I do have bigger and better plans for myself, this is just a stepping stone to getting there a degree is a must

I am not deprived at home per se.

I love my SO, but quite frankly, she just does not take me to climax. I don't know what it is. I become aroused, I enjoy having sex with her, but I just don't finish with her. Some of it is her, her technique sucks and she's not responsive to instruction/feed back. But, I don't think it's fair to apply all the blame in her. Perhaps the "heat" just isn't there any more.

Part of the reason I got back into the hobby was to see if it was possibly a physical issue with me. It's not. I climax just fine, in fact sometime I climax a little quick for my tastes.

So, Tiger's not getting his nut at home, and this cat has needs. I honestly wish it wasn't so, but it is and this is the compromise I've made with myself, to maintain my sanity.

Ha younger tiger's situation
identical to senior's.

Wtf is it with the SO's?

Yeah she was thinking I needed cialis.
All I needed was to see Summer.

I know what you mean tigre.
It is what it is.
So I am where I'm at.
Better or worse.

I must say the view is breathtaking at times.

This has been a great thread to read through. If nothing else, it has shown me that I'm not alone.

My situation is what has led me to this site and to exploring the possibility of becoming a hobbyist......

I have been married for 6 years, and was with my wife for 4 years before we tied the knot. She is a great friend and life partner, and I truly love her deeply, but I am SO in need of physical affection/attention it isn't even funny.

When we first got together ten years ago, I was finishing college and everything in the sex department was great. We'd have sex 4 to 7 times a week, including in some pretty interesting and unorthodox places. Then, as time went on we inevitably began to have less and less time for sex. Time and energy was a limiting factor, as we both work in retail management and work long and sometimes odd hours. But things were still ok.

Then, early last year we discovered due to many medical issues I won't bore anyone with, she had to have a complete hysterectomy. On doctor's orders there was to be no intercourse for 12 weeks following the surgery. It didn't matter, though. Even with the hormone replacement therapy she will be on for basically the rest of her life, her sex drive has disappeared completely. It has literally been over a year since we have had sex. The dozen or so times we tried it since the surgery were ok for me, but they ranged from slightly painful to just plain boring for her. Nothing I have tried has been able to get her at all physically interested in sex.

Like I said, I love my wife and I have no intention other than spending the rest of my life with her as she is my best friend. But I find myself thinking of nothing but sex all the time lately. The natural progression I guess has been from watching a little porn, to watching loads of porn, to discovering the ads on Backpage, to finding this site. As I mentioned in the beginning, I am exploring the POSSIBILITY of becoming a hobbyist because I'm having a hard time squaring the idea in my mind of going behind her back for sex. I don't want to hurt her, but I am just going crazy. It's not just the sex I am craving, but I really miss the sensual touching and intimacy of it all.

So, there's my story. Sorry it was so long winded. I welcome any thoughts or response anyone has to share if you'd like to.

-ATXPhotoguy

Amazing. I thought I was the only one.

Wife is so wonderful. Considers it in the same category as getting a massage.

No lying, no sneaking around, no romantic entanglements.

Everyone is satisfied and content.

Okay, I guess I should chime in as well.
I have a wife who is the center of my life. She is my third wife and a more mellow, affable woman I could never hope for. Our relationship is great. Only one thing. She has no real interest in sex anymore. We have entered a tacit agreement that I can go find playmates as long as I "don't bring anything home."
I guess what we have is a kind of a "don't ask, don't tell" relationship.

One reason our relationship (over over 35 years - with 19 of the most recent years married) has worked is that she and I trust each other. She trusts that I will never leave her (never, ever will I), she trusts that I mean it when I tell her I love her (I really do). She trusts that I will always "come home" (I always will). I truly want to spend all the time I can with her so my hobbying is done during the week - rarely during a weekend unless she goes out of town.

But I still enjoy the feel, touch, taste and excitement of sex (although, like several others herein) Mr. Happy has been renamed Deadwood Dick. I love the foreplay and attention of a sexually-charged woman.
I also like the fact that this portly old guy can have the attention of a hottie, a hardbody, a hot surfer girl (*sob* *snark* Vaya con Dios, Angel Grace - OMG what a HOT, beautiful pussy she had!) where in my Mr. Sta-Puft man shape wouldn't attract a momentary glace in the "real world".

I think, Ezra, that if a member of our team meets a member of your team and they each satisfy something in the other (emotionally/monetarily/physically)...the world has come to a wonderful balance - at least for an hour or so. Originally Posted by Prowordsmith